Monday, July 26, 2010
dance.
Dance is my life. It's the one sport I'm decently good at and thoroughly enjoy. I was never interested in any other sports as a kid. It was always one thing, dance. I took dance for six straight years, then my dance teacher moved to Ripley. By that time, it was cheer tryouts at my school. Since we didn't have a junior high dance team, I did cheer. Cheer occupied my time, but I always longed for dance. When it came time for high school tryouts, I went out for cheer instead of dance. I had the most miserable year of my life. I hated cheer. I cried like every night because I hated it so bad. It was awful. To get my mind off of how awful it was, I began getting myself ready for upcoming dance tryouts. I traveled to Ripley for a weekly practice with my old dance teacher. I also had practices with Kelli Coggin, my dance mentor. Haha. (shout out to kelli coggin). I tried out and made the dance team. Ever since then, my life has been filled with dance. And now, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose it. My knee is in awful shape. I have torn cartilage and a severely sprained i.t. band. He put me on a knee cast and crutches for two weeks, and it hasn't proved much. At this point, I'm terrified. I haven't danced for over a month, and it's killing me. I'm so scared about my knee. The other night I cried for like two hours straight because of this stupid limb. I want it to be fixed and be pain-free, but I'm scared of surgery. I can't keep on like this though. My knee is the worst pain I've ever felt. It's a constant pain that won't let up to give me any type of relief. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. But if I'm gonna be sitting out anytime, I'm gonna do it this year, my junior year. I don't think I could deal with sitting in the bleachers watching other people be co-captain and take my spot my senior year. It would honestly eat me alive. I just can't be without dance. I just can't. The release I have while I'm dancing. How great it feels to be doing something I love. To be performing and having other people watching me. To be actually decently good at something. I can't be without that. Just can't. It's my life. It's what I was created for, I believe. God may have greater plans for me, but I'm having a hard time accepting that this was the hand I was dealt. I'm trying to deal with it. But it's hard.
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